Bare Bones

     Money doesn't make a man's life, it only makes life manageable. Who are you without it? When you have nothing to give, offer, show people you did something with your life, who are you when you are not Jr's mom, the coach, the boss, or the pilot of a commercial airliner? Who are you without that house, car, or that husband or wife?

How are you with others when there are no strings attached, no free meal, or door prize involved? Are you still kind or do you flip someone off when they cut you off on the highway?

Being poor is like walking around in your bare bones. Nothing to hide or cover your need yet I have seen some do it so well, walk with such grace, you would never have guessed it. When one has nothing, they are the real deal. What you see is what you get.

I have been to both ends of the spectrum and I can honestly say, both ends can teach you who you are. Both will show you who your friends are and both paint an imaginary picture of who you think you are.

Respect can not be bought, nor can love. Position, stature, and all things that moths and rust destroy can readily be bought. Money characterizes, bonefies, attempts to exact respect but in the end it's all smoke and mirrors. Oh it pays the bills and I praise God for it but it will not make or break me though at times I may feel broken.

Try this. Sit and mentally remove all your titles, where you live means nothing for a moment. Empty your psychological bank account (humor me) and breathe. Just close your eyes and ask God to tell you who He says you are. Forget about who you say you are.  It may take a few tries. Who are you really? I admit I'm still learning the answer to that question.

Those who have walked around in their bare bones, those whose worlds have been torn down around them can testify. At that point you are the real deal.  You're not fooled by the ones that appear to have their act together.  Life is rough sometimes. A woman having a baby may receive praise and adoration for this amazing miracle but that Momma knows. There was blood, tears, and screaming involved. I know. I've had five children. It was definitely a real deal, bare bone moment.

Children are the best at being open and honest, sometimes too honest. My youngest son is fifteen. We call him the "Money Man" . Since he was old enough to hold coins in his pudgy little hands he has been squirreling away money. While cleaning, I would find these little rat holds of change and dollar bills around  the house in the strangest places. When telling the kids a story or sharing an event that took place during the day, Abel would always ask, " And how much did that cost ?" Or some other money related question. He is all about the money.

It was a time that I found myself at the low end of the spectrum and money was tight.  That's really an understatement but it looked like I needed a second job. As a single mother, with only two of the five left at home, working at least fifty plus hours a week, I had a conversation with the Money Man. After all he was a teenager and continuously needing/wanting money.

"It would be tough for a little while I explained to him but..." He stopped me.

"Wait, wait, " waving his hand he began to ask, " How MUCH longer would that mean you would be gone from the house?"

Preparing myself for him to say, " Dueces" or " See ya" as I explained, I was shocked when he said plainly, "No."

I'm still in shock really but my materialistic, worldly, carnal, wonderfully beautiful son said, " Mom, you are worth more than money. We would rather have you home."

And that was that.

Money can't replace love and love requires time.  My most precious memories are of time spent with those I loved and if it took all that for me to hear God tell me who I am and how much I am worth, then I will walk around in my bare bones anytime.

Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas to me!!!

      My daughter is getting married. It is , as the saying goes, " the best of times and....the worst of times." I mean I'm happy for her and I love who she is marrying but this is my baby daughter we are talking about!

Last weekend was her bridal shower and all the ladies ooh-ed and aww-ed at her gifts. I got the lovely couple very nice luggage for their honeymoon cruise. They were thrilled. No, really they were and I realized how each of my children are in a different season in their lives and,  how if each were to receive a gift today, how different each gift would be.

My teenage sons certainly would never be so excited about luggage. I laugh, now, imagining the dumbfounded looks on their faces. I'm almost positive the first comment out of their mouth would be something along the lines of, "Are you kicking us out Momma?" Ha!

No, a gift needs to be appropriate for the time, season, and individual.  Teenage boys are easy. All they really ever want is money and food and if you can wrap it up and call it a present, even better! Their conscience has been released from the pressure of earning it to having been given it freely. No chores were involved in the process of obtaining it, which frees up the possibility of extorting money in exchange for chores later.

The true definition of a gift as explained by Webster's dictionary is something that is given to another, or a special gift or ability.  A gift is something personal and exclusive to that individual. The one giving it should have wisdom and understanding of the time and season that person is in. It wouldn't be very enjoyable to receive a pair of shoes you always wanted only to discover they didn't fit.

God is the perfect and most willing Giftgiver .

James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above....

Which means God has given each of us a particular "something", a talent, a craft, a good and perfect present. The ultimate gift was the life of His Son who died for our sins and nothing is more perfect than that but did you know that you have one tailor made for you? One that when opened brings a creative process to making you who He created you to be?

What a Good Good Father to love us so much that we get presents! Happy Birthday to me!

I'm not ashamed to tell you I'm 45 and still unwrapping my present. At the first glimpse into the box I could hardly believe my eyes. I'm sad to admit I've doubted what was in the box for at least 20 years but with fear and trembling I'm pulling up my big girl britches and throwing back the lid!  

If the creator of the Earth and Sky loves me enough to perfectly formulate a gift for me....well....you better believe I'm diving in and like on Christmas morning, I'm leaning over to you right now saying, "What did you get?" "Man that's perfect for you and just what you wanted!"